3 How to Get an Audience to Like You (and Your Message)

Remember that the central reason your audience is interested in hearing you speak is for the benefit they will gain from your presentation. However, you still want to build a positive relationship with your audience. If your audience connects with you, they are more likely to resonate with your message. The following techniques get an audience to look at you and your message more favorably.

A. “We” is much better than “You and I.”

The more you can use the words “we” and “us” in a speech, the better your connection with the audience will be. Most people who encounter someone they have much in common with will think, “I like that person!” Emphasize what you share with your audience; they will warm up to you. People like others who are like themselves.

If you analyze the central message of most political campaign speeches, politicians say, “Vote for me because I am like you; don’t vote for the other candidate because he/she is not like us.” Sometimes, it feels like the issues of the day are secondary to establishing that personal connection.

The following is an example of this approach: “We all work hard to make a living and support our families. If you are like me, taxes consume a significant part of your income. We need to know that our tax dollars are being spent wisely. That is why I’d like to talk to you about my tax reform amendment.”

B. Don’t Be a Wallflower at Your Own Speech

Once you are standing at the podium, it is too late to be a wallflower. You are expected to be energetic, passionate, and bigger than life. Your audience wants you to project and command their attention. Use animated gestures and more volume to reach out to them. They are passive listeners, meaning you must work harder to capture their attention. Portray confidence as if what you have to say is important. If you find this attempt difficult, imagine yourself in an acting class and being asked to play the role of a confident, dynamic speaker. You may want to watch a video of a speaker you admire and try to emulate this person’s energy. Please pay attention to their tone of voice, gestures, and how they approach the podium, among other things.

C. The Truth and Nothing but the Truth

There has never been a time like the present when the spotlight has focused so directly on the importance of truthfulness in public speaking. Fact-checking and disputes over what is accurate information have almost become a national obsession. Audiences crave the truth. If you are someone your audience feels has integrity and is trustworthy, you possess a great resource.

A great rule of thumb is as follows: “If you break your audience’s trust, they will never believe anything you tell them again.”

There is a scattered graveyard of public figures who were once admired but were caught telling lies, and whose legacies suffered as a result. It is tempting to exaggerate; to use biased, selective facts; or stretch the truth when you are passionate about a topic, but beware of these tendencies—they will invariably come back to bite you. Being truthful also means ensuring that the background sources you use to support your presentation are reliable and accurate.

D. Stress Your Competence

Be sure to emphasize to your audience at the beginning of your speech why you are competent to speak on the topic you are addressing. You do not have to be a Nobel Prize winner to relate your background and interest in the subject. However, tooting your own horn at the beginning of your speech is necessary to sell your message.

Let’s see how Julia does this in this hypothetical example:

Julia does not profess to be an expert; she is still a beginner. However, she has established herself as a credible speaker by describing her interests and progress.

Finally, be confident in pronouncing the keywords and terms you use. Nothing can hurt your credibility more than mispronouncing terminology.

E. Know to Whom You Are Talking

A smart speaker will not leave connecting with an audience up to chance. You may have had the following experience: You gave a speech, enjoyed a positive reception, and felt a sense of accomplishment. You gave the same presentation at a different time and venue, and your speech wasn’t received with the same enthusiasm. You may have been tempted to assume your performance was not as strong as in the previous speech, so you began analyzing for flaws that might have contributed to the disappointing response.

Consider the possibility that your speech was just as well presented as before. It was not your performance that changed; it was your audience. You cannot assume that the same speech will work as effectively with every audience. Experienced speakers are aware of this fact, so they make an extra effort to get to know their audience as part of their preparation.

When you analyze your audience beforehand, you increase the odds that your presentation will be effective and that you will be able to “speak their language.” You want to approach them based on their needs and concerns rather than assuming they have the same agenda as a previous audience. Just as you would never walk into a job interview without doing background research on your potential employer, you do not want to address an audience without investigating who they are. Here are a couple of great ways to do this.

Use insiders

If this sounds a little cloak-and-dagger, do not be concerned; there is nothing nefarious about this technique. For example, let us imagine that you were running for mayor of your city and had scheduled a speech for city employees. A wise move would be to select a few representative employees and gather their input on critical issues before delivering your speech. You might ask them questions such as:

• “What are your main concerns about working for the city?”
• “What do you like about your job?”
• “What could be improved?”
• “What type of work issues would you want the next mayor to address?”

After gathering this information, you can begin developing your speech and address the points that your interviews revealed. When you address the larger group in the future, they will get the impression that you understand them well, and you will be viewed more favorably.

A former student in one of my classes shared a story that emphasized the importance of knowing an audience. She worked for a federal agency that was upgrading its computer system. Several businesses were competing for the multimillion-dollar contract. Several companies spared no expense, transporting equipment and displays by air, using parties and perks as incentives. She conveyed that one company decided to take a different approach. Their representatives diligently questioned her agency’s employees and departments to gather information on how a new computer system could perform better than the equipment being replaced. Not surprisingly, when a vendor was chosen, this company was awarded the contract. This company had done its homework and had gotten to know its client. Similarly, getting to know your audience will give you a competitive edge.

Use the power of observation

A good speaker must be flexible, able to adapt, and make last-minute changes to a speech based on the audience’s characteristics. For example, the demographic makeup of your audience—age, gender, or ethnicity—may give you clues about what to emphasize and where to focus. Different audiences will have their own interests and viewpoints. By visually surveying your audience, you can better understand how to relate to them. Do not hesitate to make on-the-fly adjustments to better align with the audience’s characteristics.

Another type of observation that can be helpful is gauging your audience’s mood. If you are sensitive to that mood, you may be better able to deliver your message accordingly. Do they appear joyful, restless, enthusiastic, bored, sullen, or playful? Tap into their energy, work with it, and try to ride their wavelength.

Also, think about the nature of the occasion. Reflect on the event’s expectations. What kind of presentation is your audience anticipating? Are they expecting to be entertained, inspired, or educated? Meeting these expectations will enhance your success.

What I suggest may seem overwhelming to an inexperienced speaker who has spent hours getting every phrase just right. There can be some natural resistance to doing improvisational speaking. But keep in mind that public speaking is a give-and-take proposition. Just as you would be sensitive to the mood and nonverbal cues in a personal relationship and, as a result, adapt your communication, so, too, you should extend this sensitivity to your interaction with a listening audience.