K–12 Exercises for Practicing Chosen Names and Pronouns

Here’s a set of developmentally appropriate, trauma-informed, and identity-affirming exercises that K–12 teachers can use to learn how to ask students about their chosen names and pronouns in ways that are respectful, non-invasive, and safe.

These are broken down by grade level bands, keeping in mind age, consent, and context.

Grades K–2: “My Name, My Story”

Activity: Name Exploration Through Storytime

Read picture books like Your Name Is a Song (Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow) or The Name Jar (Yangsook Choi).

• Ask:
  • “What do you want your friends to call you at school?”
  • “Do you have a special name at home, or maybe a nickname?”
• Use a class chart labeled “What We Like to Be Called” (with pictures if needed), and invite students to share, change, or update their names over time.

Why this works: Young children can explore identity playfully and safely, without explicitly discussing gender unless they initiate it. It builds classroom respect around names without outing.

Grades 3–5: “Getting to Know Me” Cards

Activity: Intro Cards with Open Fields

Provide index cards or digital forms that include open prompts:

• “My name is ___”
• “You can also call me ___”
• “Some people use she/he/they/etc. — I use ___”
• “Anything else you want me to know about you?”

Let students fill them out privately, and revisit/update them throughout the year.

Why this works: Encourages autonomy, builds trust, and makes pronoun sharing optional but welcomed.

Grades 6–8: “Pronouns Are Personal” Activity

Activity: Anonymous Pronoun Wall

Create a classroom anchor chart or shared doc where students write down (anonymously or with names) the pronouns they use, if they wish.

• Include this classroom affirmation:
  

  “You never have to share anything you’re not ready to. If you do, we’ll honor what you share.”

• Pair with a discussion on why pronouns matter, using age-appropriate resources or videos (e.g., from GLSEN or Gender Spectrum).

Why this works: Centers agency, lets students reflect anonymously or publicly, and models inclusive norms without coercion.

Grades 9–12: “Identity Inventory” or “First Day Survey”

Activity: Inclusive Student Survey

Use a private form or paper sheet that includes:

• Name you’d like me to use: __________
• Pronouns (optional): __________
• Is it okay to use these in front of the class/your parents? (Y/N/Ask me)
• Anything else you’d like me to know to support you this year?

Follow up with:

• A statement of commitment (e.g., “I will always do my best to use what you share. Let me know if anything changes.”)
• Option to update responses at any time.

Why this works: Honors privacy, addresses safety (especially around family), and supports ongoing conversation.

Scenarios to Use about Understanding LGBTQIA+ Youth

Additional Scenarios:

Grades K–2: Early Awareness & Inclusion

Scenario 1: Pronouns on the Playground

A child in your class, Jordan, has begun using they/them pronouns at home and has asked that you do the same at school. Another student says, “You can’t be a boy and a girl!” How do you respond in a way that supports Jordan and fosters inclusive understanding among peers?

Scenario 2: Books and Backlash

You read a picture book that includes two dads during storytime. A caregiver later complains, saying it’s “inappropriate for this age.” How do you handle this situation while staying supportive of LGBTQIA+ inclusion and in line with district policy?

Scenario 3: Dressing Up for Identity

During dramatic play, a student assigned male at birth consistently chooses to wear dresses and be a “mom.” Another student laughs and says, “Boys can’t wear dresses.” How do you intervene in the moment? How do you follow up with the class and parents?

Grades 3–5: Expanding Identity Conversations

Scenario 4: The Art of Expression

A student draws a family portrait that includes two moms and shares it with the class. One student says, “That’s weird.” How do you use this moment to teach about diverse families without singling out the student?

Scenario 5: Name and Pronoun Change

Alex asks you privately to start using a different name and he/him pronouns. Their caregivers have not been informed. What steps do you take to support Alex while maintaining confidentiality and following school policy?

Scenario 6: Library Labels

You notice a group of students laughing and pointing at a graphic novel in the library labeled as LGBTQ+. One student says, “Ew, that’s for gay kids.” How do you address the behavior and create a teachable moment?

Grades 6–8: Identity Development & Peer Dynamics

Scenario 7: GSA Club Tensions

Your middle school recently started a Gender and Sexualities Alliance (GSA). Some teachers refer to it dismissively, and students are nervous to attend. What can you do to advocate for a supportive school culture both in staff spaces and student-facing initiatives?

Scenario 8: Misgendering in the Classroom

A student named Riley, who uses they/them pronouns, is frequently misgendered by classmates and staff. How do you model respect, correct others, and support Riley without putting them on the spot?

Scenario 9: Bathroom Access

A nonbinary student asks to use the staff restroom because they feel unsafe in the boys’ and girls’ bathrooms. How do you respond, and what steps do you take to ensure student safety and dignity?

Grades 9–12: Intersectionality, Safety, and Advocacy

Scenario 10: Sports and Identity

A trans girl wants to try out for the girls’ track team. A coach tells her “it’ll be too controversial.” Students are watching your response closely. What do you do to advocate for the student’s right to participate?

Scenario 11: Hostile Hallways

A student reports being harassed with anti-LGBTQIA+ slurs between classes. When you raise the issue with administration, they downplay it. How do you respond, document the incident, and support the student?

Scenario 12: Outing by Assignment

A student privately tells you they’re gay. Later, during a “family values” debate in civics, another student says, “I heard Marcus is gay.” Marcus looks panicked. How do you handle this in the moment, and how do you follow up?